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It shouldn't hurt to be a kid...
Child abuse is physical--shaking, hitting, beating, burning, or biting a child.
Child abuse is emotional--constantly blaming or putting down a child; excessive yelling, shaming.
Child abuse is sexual-- incest, any forced sexual activity, exposure to sexual stimulation not appropriate for the child's age.
Child abuse is neglect--a pattern of failure to provide for the child's physical needs, such as food, clothing, shelter, and medical care; a pattern of failure to provide for the child's emotional needs, such as affection, attention, and supervision.
Every one of us can help stop child abuse
Help out a parent under stress with a few hours of child care or assistance with other chores
Lend an ear to a parent or child in crisis.
Support programs that offer child care, parent education, family counseling, and child safety.
Call a Parental Stress program for resources and support
If you suspect that a child has been abused, call:
Child Abuse Hotline
Alameda County 510-259-1800
What are the Consequences of Child Abuse?
In an abusive environment, children are often expected to behave as if they are much older than they are.
Children are often "punished" for behavior they are too young to control.
Abusive parents do not know they have to teach the behavior they want the child to have. Punishing unwanted behavior is not enough.
Parents and caretakers often abuse children in response to their own anger and unhappiness. It may have no relationship to what the child is doing at the time
Abused children:
- Believe that they have no value
- Believe that they cannot affect the world around them with good behavior
- Feel angry and/or depressed.
WHAT YOU CAN DO TO PREVENT ABUSE
Learn about child abuse and neglect
Be alert to the "Red Flags."
Be prepared to make a report.
Do something.
Speak up.
Support the National Child Abuse Prevention Month in April.
Advocate for services to help families
Ask your local television stations to have non-violent programs for children.
Support the victim.
Find help for yourself if you are overwhelmed.
Empower the community to respond.
Take a child of family under your wing.
Become a foster parent or grandparent.
Encourage your church, social and community organizations to provide outreach to at-risk families.
Lobby your community leaders to address the problem.
Don't turn your back on a situation.
Ask your school to provide prevention education to the children.
Talk to your kids about personal safety and body limits.
Be sensitive to the needs of troubled or isolated families.
If a child comes to you...
Your job is to simply report what the child tells you, not to investigates the situation.
Attempts to investigate may:
Tip off the perpetrator and cause them to flee or destroy evidence.
Cause a child to retract if they think you don't believe them.
Reassure the child that they did the right thing by telling you and they are not to blame.
Don't promise them that you won't "tell"
Tell the child that what you plan to do to help protect them.
Talk with the child if they need to vent- be ready to listen and be supportive
Be respectful of the child's need for, or dislike of touching while trying to comfort them… do so with caution and only with the child's permission
Consider helping the child get professional counseling
Mandated Reporters are not required by law to tell the parent/caretaker that a report has been made. However, one should keep in mind that parents/caretakers are not always the perpetrators and may not be aware that their child exhibits signs of abuse.
Find a place to help with your feelings too.
Age Factors to Consider for Preschool Age Children
At higher risk for serious injury.
Stories are generally truthful.
Don't know abuse is serious…their value of right and wrong is based on family behavior.
Age Factors to Consider for School Age and Teen Children
More prone to self-report abuse.
More aware of "normal" family behavior due to exposure to other families.
Tend to be protective of substance abuse parents or caretakers- role reversal.
Sexual abuse is often disclosed when family incest interferes with normal teenage relationships.
Disclosure of abuse may have a "hidden agenda" such as revenge or anger towards parents or caretaker.
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SEXUAL ABUSE AND SPECIAL CONSIDERATION
Sexual Abuse and Exploitation---California Penal Code Section 11165.1
Sexual abuse is defined as sexual assault or sexual exploitation of a minor.
Rape
Statutory Rape
Gang Rape (Rape in Concert)
Incest
Sodomy
Oral Copulation
Lewd and Lascivious Acts
Child Molestation.
Penetration of the genital or anal opening, no matter how slight, by any object or body part whether or not there is the emission of semen. This does not include acts performed for a valid medical reason.
Sexual contact between the genitals or anal opening of one person and the mouth or tongue of another person.
Touching of genital or intimate body parts or the clothing covering them for the purpose of sexual arousal or gratification. This does not include acts which are normal caretaker responsibilities or for a valid medical purpose.
Masturbation in the presence of a child
Preparing, selling or distributing child pornography.
Child prostitution or a live performance involving obscene sexual conduct with a child.
Sexual Abuse and Exploitation--Federal Guidelines
The employment, use, persuasion, inducement, enticement, or coercion of any child engage in, or assist any other person to engage in, any sexual explicit conduct or simulation of such conduct for the purpose of producing a visual depiction of such conduct.
The rape, and in cases of caretaker or inter-familial relationships, statutory rape, molestation, prostitution, or other form of sexual exploitation of children, or incest with children.
General Indicators of Sexual Abuse
Child reports abuse- this is a big, bold, scary step for the child to take in breaking out of the "conspiracy of silence" and should be taken very seriously.
Sexualized behavior, curiosity, or knowledge inappropriate for age
Torn, stained, or bloody undergarments
Sexually transmitted diseases
Pregnancy
Genital discharge or infection
Trauma or injury to genital or anal area
Difficulty in walking, sitting urination or defecation due to genital or anal pain
Excessive/compulsive masturbation
In boys, excessive concerns about homosexuality or homophobia
Sexual victimization of other children
Self-destructive behavior or suicide threats
Withdrawal or depression
Sudden acquisition of money, clothes or gifts
Animal abuse
Fire setting
Indicators in Younger Children
Bed and pants wetting of fecal soiling
Eating disturbances
Unusual fear of phobias
Overly compulsive behavior
Inability to concentrate
Sleep disturbances
Frightened or caretaker or of going home
Indicators in Older Children and Teens
Chronic fatigue, depression or apathy
Excessive bathing
Purposely making themselves unattractive through poor hygiene
Poor peer relations and social skills
Overly compliant, aggressive, antisocial or delinquent behavior
Running away
Alcohol or drug use
Prostitution or promiscuity
Inappropriately seductive behavior
Unusual fear of pelvic exams
Drop in school performance
Chronic absence or tardiness
Arrives early at school and stays late to avoid being home
Refusal to dress for P.E.
Non-participation in activities
Fearful of showers or restrooms
Fearful of home life
Fearful of males
Overly self-conscience of body
Crying without provocation
Fire setting
Eating disorders
Early marriage to avoid abusive situation
Behaviors that MAY Be Seen in a Sexually Abusive Person
Drug or alcohol abuse or other addictive behavior
Mood changes
Last to go to bed, or up during the night
Sexual preoccupation
Views child pornography
Cruising
Exhibitionism
Seeks out relationships with children over adults
Erratic discipline
Prolonging physical contact with children….wrestling, tickling, bathing
Walks in on child while bathing or using the toilet
Interferes with child's normal friendships
Relates to the child with sexual undertones or manner
How Can It Happen?
A "conspiracy of silence" is established by perpetrator
There is coercion through bribery or threats
Progression of contact is made
Selfishness- the perpetrator puts their sexual or ego needs before the well-being of the child
The child feels helpless
The child is confused about their sexuality and feelings
The child may be embarrassed and guilt ridden about the activity
The child may accept blame for what is happening, feel loyalty to the adult, or be confused about what to do
Child "trades" sex for attention and affection
The child gives delayed, conflicted and unconvincing disclosure, or describes it using socially acceptable terms
The disclosure may be retracted if the child thinks they are not being believed-they are being abused, and now seen as a liar and have lost their credibility
Other Issues with Sexual Abuse
Without third party reporting, abuse often goes unreported. The child is trapped in secrecy
Offenders rarely self disclose or seek treatment voluntarily
Sexual abuse does not require force or lack of consent
Sexual abuse tends to recur and escalate over time- it is seldom a one time occurrence. The National Center for Prevention of Child Abuse had found that an abusive relationship lasts an average of 4 years or longer.
Most reports are for female victims under the age of 12
Incest is when sexual contact is between blood related family members
Intra-familial sexual contact is between family members not related by blood (stepparent, live-in partner, etc)
Third party molestation (non-family member) is reported to law enforcement
Incest often begins during periods of crises, such as marital problems, financial problems, unemployment, etc
Almost half of the sexual abuse offenses occur while the offender in under the influence of drugs or alcohol
Incest tends to occur in extremely isolated families
Sexual abuse has a strong "cycle of abuse" pattern in the family
Behaviors that May Be Seen in a Sexually Abusive Person
Drug or alcohol abuse or other addictive behavior
Mood change
Last to go to bed, or up during the night
Sexual preoccupation
Views child pornography
Cruising
Exhibitionism
Seeks out relationships with children over adults
Erratic discipline
Prolonging physical contact with children…wrestling, tickling, bathing
Walks in on child while bathing or using the toilet
Interferes with child's normal friendships
Relates to the child with sexual undertones or manner
Why does the non-abusing parent often look the other way
They maybe in denial that their partner is capable of doing such a thing
They may have been sexually abused as a child
They may fear that loss of their partner or financial stability
They may fear reprisal from partner for confronting the situation
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